Wednesday was my rest day. No PT since I had an IST on Thursday. But I awoke to a text message saying that all Poolees had to come in to the office at some point during the day to talk to the Gunnery Sergeant. Slightly disappointed at not being a couch bum all day I eventually arranged to show up about 11am.
(On the way, I had a slight scare as I realized I was on E and my gas light was going off. Luckily I made it to a gas station before running out of gas.)
At the office I found my recruiter and one of the others chilling at their respective desks. When I approached my recruiter's desk I noticed the GySgt's office door was closed and figured he was already talking to some Poolees.
I sat down across from my recruiter and his first question was about boot camp. Something about if I knew what to expect at Recruit Training. From there we had a small discussion about the same basics: 80% mental, 20% physical.
After going over the purpose of boot camp with me, he then revealed that one of the recent poolees had failed at Recruit Training.
It turned out to be a female that I had befriended while she was in DEP. She had been enthusiastic about boot camp, to the point of working hard to get her date moved up. She'd left near the end of October.
But I didn't understand how she could fail. I'd felt she could handle it.
'So she gave up?', I ask my recruiter, trying to prod for details.
Pretty much. Now shes failed and is coming home.
As I wait for my turn to talk to the GySgt, the other recruiter has now gotten off the phone and takes the oppurtunity to talk to me about Recruit Training. He tells of his own experiences and reiterates the idea that the Drill Instructors are there to help you although it may not appear that way.
He even mentions how at one point he came to a breaking point. He woke up one morning and decided he was going to do any of the training.
As the Drill Instructors ordered the other recruits around he remained standing where he was.
Finally the Drill Instructors ordered everyone out. One of the DI's then returned and came up to him.
'So this is it? you're just going to pussy out? And let down your family and friends and go home a failure?'
The recruiter said at that point the DI had him. He couldn't quit. And he finished Recruit Training, earned the title of Marine and is now a Sergeant.
A few minutes later the GySgt finally calls me in along with another poolee. He tells us why he has called us there: to make sure we understand what we're getting into. To make sure we understand what Recruit Training is. He mentions that he is greatly dissapointed in the two failures at Recruit Training that have occured in the past two weeks. Apparently they couldn't take it, and so forth.
Eventually he dismisses the other Poolee.
He then elaborates on my friend's situation. It seemed that one day she'd gone to medical and told them she wanted to kill herself.
After hearing this, it slowly sinks in. I still can't believe shes not going to make it. I was so sure she'd graduate. She'd seemed strong.
And then I start thinking, if she can't make it, whats to say I will? I can't help but to start comparing myself to her failure.
But at the same time the GySgt goes on to tell me not to compare myself to her. I am not her. And just because she failed, does not mean I will too.
He notes the effort I've put in these last few months to get where I am now. I've worked too hard to get this far and fail. He doesn't expect that from me.
And he wants to see me graduate.
He then mentions, that if he has to, he will write me everyday to help me get through Recruit Training. He'd even make the other recruiters write to me, if that would help.
I smile at the gesture. At least I know they support me.
November 11th- Veteran's Day
Up at 4am, at the office by 530am.
Sergeant B drives myself and 3 other poolees to Orlando to take our IST.
After the talk with GySgt, I'd spent the rest of the day contemplating my morale. I finally resolved that I could make it. I told myself 'This is going to suck, but this is what I want'.
Now at the IST I pictured all of the people rooting for my success:
My recruiters, all of the members of my Explorer's Post, Friends from church, Friends from school, and my fellow poolees. Standing with them would be my family. My parents and distant relatives. And the few members that had recently been lost to death, my grandma, uncle, and a great aunt. And just as proud, would be my grandpa who passed away while I was a kid. He was a Marine, and I wished to make him proud.
And they were all there, 'standing in my balcony', cheering me on as I held the bar for the Flex Arm Hang, knocked out crunches in 2mins, and ran my heart out on the 1.5 mile.
At the end of the day I had
28 secs FAH
83 crunches
1.5 mile in 14:15
I passed my IST!
When I got back to the office I smiled as the recruiter's told me 'good job'.
Now I have a month before I leave for Recruit Training, Parris Island.
